April 2010 – Randy Puppets, A New Toy, and Not Dying

At this rate, I may have this 2010 diary finished by Summer 🙂 Anyway, on with April.

Stuff that happened (or didn’t happen)

Another quiet-ish month (don’t worry, it kicks up a notch in May, honest!) but April did bring Easter, the pagan / Christian celebration of the chocolate rabbit demon if I remember my Sunday school lessons correctly. Good Friday here in the Channel Islands means quite random opening hours of pubs etc. so I always arrange a night out at the local pizzeria with around 10 friends. This is one of the few times each year we all get together, and was typically drunken – in honour of Jesus turning water into wine or something.

It was also the premiere of the new series of Dr Who here in Britain, which a mate invited a few of us to watch on his truly massive HDTV. Seeing this electronic behemoth made synapses fire in my brain, and pushed me that final yard into upgrading my own clunky old idiot box. So, within a week (thanks to a bonus at work) I had a lovely new 40″ flat screen telly. Hubba hubba 🙂

"Insert amusing caption about small pussy / large box here"

In other “news”, I spent a freezing Sunday morning watching my mate’s girlfriend play in a local ladies’ football cup final (they lost), and realised that one of her team mates was a girl I went out with for a month or so when I was 17. Who is now a committed lesbian.

Later in the month, I started to get occasional twinges in the chest area. I’m not in any way a hypochondriac, but felt that justified a visit to the doc just  to be on the safe side. He booked me in for an ECG the next day, which involved having parts of my chest shaved by a nurse so they could attach electrodes.

The temptation to go into a story about how one thing led to another and before I knew it it was a filthy orgy of shaven nurses is overwhelming, but it would (sadly) be a lie.

The fantasy

The reality

Anyway, all was well in the end (always good to know, and hence the “not dying” reference in the title of this post) so I went home and did a load of coke to celebrate 😉 (this may be a lie)

Films and things that I (and maybe you) watched

Black Devil Doll Well, this is one that divides people eh? Personally, I really enjoyed it. Admittedly I watched it with a couple of mates, all quite drunk, which I would suggest is the most suitable way – if not the only way. Bascially, it’s a resurrected black power activist in the body of a puppet, who subsequently has sex with and kills a number of pneumatic ladies. A cheap blend of much nudity and violence. If you know me, you will know that, as a rule, this equals a win 🙂

Ban This Sick Filth!

Clash of the Titans The remake, that is. I went to see this at the local “cinema” with friend, and generally enjoyed it. It’s not going to win any awards, but as a piece of background entertaining fluff it did a pretty good job. Liked the Kraken, thought Ralph Fiennes was excellent as Hades, and the Bubo cameo made me laugh 🙂

The Keep Michael Mann’s 1983 horror about evil Nazis (is there any other kind?) guarding a fortress in Romania, unaware that there are some nasty forces buried deep within. Chances are you’ve seen this at some stage, but possibly not – if not, I recommend it. It’s not brilliant, but has a good atmosphere and is worth checking out. Sadly, it’s a right bugger to get hold of as I don’t think it’s out on DVD (shameful!) but if it shows up on tv, give it a try.

Twittery Bits

Some people that I (think) I first encountered on the old Twitter this month:

@pirate_bitch Drawn together by a love of nasty horror films (I think “Hanger” was one of my first recommendations!) we have since shared transatlantic viewings of a number of Fulci films and others, and will eventually get around to Mad Cowgirl she assures me 🙂

@nathanhead Somehow, via the Mark Macready short horror film, this fine actor has become embroiled in the “gentle humour” occasionally swapped between myself and the likes of @HorrorExtreme. Check out his site at www.nathanhead.tv and buy him a cake sometime. Man, he loves the cake.

@DogAteMyWookie Author of a very readable blog / site (www.dogatemywookie.co.uk), it was a few months before I realised he is originally from “the other island” and thus technically a bit of a wrong ‘un. Ah well. …and if he ever videos and uploads a re-match between his dog and a toy wookie, I deserve 50% of any royalties / rewards / favours gained as a result.

In conclusion

So there you have it. A third of the year gone already, doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun? Next month will be worth sticking around for I assure you, as it involves another visit to the land of the English, including a titanic team-up with both @HorrorExtreme and @LipsTattoo666, which somehow we all survived  🙂


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